Charisma is necessary but not sufficient

From after work courses, I present you a course on charisma. It has to do with salt and pepper (of course, this is a metaphor) but really, I’m sick of so much hearing about it. So, here’s a video.  Have some Skittles and listen to it :p I’ve written some ideas but if  you have time I recommend you to watch it from the beggining to the end.

It’s very interesting.

Photo

Find more things and go askolivia.com🙂

Behaviours that create charisma/ charismatic magnetism:

  • presence –  the core component of charisma, the foundation upon which all else is built

Nothing runs trust and charisma than appearing inauthentic. We think that we can fake presence and listening.

The incongruence. How do you get presence?

Stay present at a conversation but how?

1.  focus on the physical sensation on your toes.

2. focus of the colors of the eyes of the person you are speaking to (deep soul searching eye contact. Charisma is not just the way you want people to feel about you but it’s also the way you make them feel about themselves

  • power = not the actual power, but our perception of the ability to affect the world around you ; whether this be true, or physical power of large amounts of money, influence, expertise, intelligence, high social status, etc . We look for clues of power in the person’s appearance, in others reaction to that person but most of all in the person’s demeanor in their body language

What’s the powerful body language like?

When you assume a physicly confident powerful posture, you actually feel more powerful; as you feel more powerful, your body language adapts accordingly this in turns gives you another biochemical boost and this builds upon itself.

On the mental side, what hinders our power? The single biggest obstacle isn’t the lack of bank account funds, it’s not the lack of influence and it’s not the lack of status symbols but the lack of self confidence.Detaching – understanding that our thoughts are not necessarily accurate at all; just because a thought is in out head it doesn’t mean it has any futility whatsoever. The mind can trick our eyes into seeing things that aren’t real. Distorted thinking tricks our mind into being certain that an inaccurate thought is true. We should see our negative thoughts just like graffitis on a wall (that’s detaching – after destigmatize and step 3 should be learning how to rewrite reality).

  • warmth = how much someone gives us the impression that they likes us; we perceive it almost entirely though body language and behaviour and it’s evaluated even more directly than power. You cannot fake it because warmth is so closely tied to body language and there is far too much body language for us to control consciously.

Actors are exhausted because they were trying to bring the entire flow into congruence :)

With years of training it’s impossible to get it absolutely perfect because if what you are feeling inside is different from what you are trying to portrait, sooner or later, what’s called a micro expression is going to flash and people will catch that.

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